A Little Conspiracy Fact.

Published on 5 June 2024 at 20:51

This is a deal the government has done with Martians.

It is a deal designed to reduce the earth population, which actually a bad idea because it’s hardly worth staying now that ‘they’ have, or are systematically taking the taste out of food that used to be lovely. For a start I mean, tomatoes and peas. Tomatoes and peas used to taste gorgeous, but now blandness rules the day. Natural sweetness has gone for a burton.

This is it. You don’t have to believe it.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but toilet rolls are getting smaller. It’s maybe because cynical managers have had an idea that customers to supermarkets are happy with what they are buying, so managers have decided to put a stop to that ‘happy’ nonsense.

Here’s the unbelievable news. The future of mankind depends on toilet rolls and the cheat which companies use. It is a technique called cell shed and works like this. People think that it’s to make more money by giving less, but that isn’t quite true. Toilet rolls are shrinking, but there is a real good reason for this.

A human is a complicated thing, with a mind which is very powerful; although you wouldn’t think so. Now with an ordinary sized toilet roll, things are ok, but when the toilet roll is reduced slightly in size, the human’s mind cannot accept this, and because the mind is so powerful, it sheds a few cells from the body which are shat out. That’s where the toilet roll comes in the wipe the butt. The cells which are shat were healthy calls from the body, but the body slightly shrinks to compensate for the loo roll. It is all done sub consciously, so the human is unaware. The same thing was done with those big biscuit things called Wagon Wheels years ago and people started calling them hub caps, but that wasn’t done for a sinister reason like toilet rolls.

As toilet rolls get gradually smaller, humans get smaller too, but it’s so slow they don’t notice.

I know of someone, dead now, who was a friend of mine who told me he’d seen little people, no drink or drugs involved. They were victims of smallerisation. The rate of smallerisation is 1mm every 2 months.

A conversation would go like this:

“Hasn’t this superstore got bigger”

“Yes, they must be expanding”

So everything gets bigger as human’s get smaller.


Come will the day when the conversation goes:

“Wow! That must be one of those giant Redwood trees.”

“Yes, it’s massive isn’t it”




“Wow! Look at the size of that dandelion!”

“Yeah! Must be a new species”


So we’re all getting smaller because of toilet rolls, but why?


Well the answer is very simple. The earth is bursting at the seams with people, so our leaders have had a meeting with Martians.


“Whoa! You say, Mars is a dead planet isn’t it?”


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